Equine Assisted Counseling & Psychotherapy - Equine Connection Counseling
  • Home
  • About ECC
    • Meet Dr. Hallie Sheade
    • ECC in the News
    • ECC Awards and Scholarly Work
    • Contact Us
  • What is Equine Assisted Counseling?
  • For Professionals
    • Book: Equine Assisted Counseling and Psychotherapy
    • ECC's Counseling Approaches
    • Clinical Supervision
    • Professional Consultation
    • Trainings
    • Online Webinar Courses
  • For Clients
  • Blog

For Parents & Caregivers: A-C-T Limit Setting

9/22/2015

0 Comments

 
One of the most common concerns that parents and caregivers bring up to a counselor is how to manage a child’s misbehavior. Some children act out more than others, but it is always stressful for both the adult and the child when they do. It is important to address the child’s behavior in a way that he or she can understand. Children’s brains are different from adult brains, so we need to be able to communicate limits and consequences in a child-appropriate manner. Our favorite way to do this both in therapy and in the home is with the A-C-T model. It was developed by Dr. Garry Landreth, a leading figure in play therapy. It involves three simple, adaptable steps: Acknowledge the feeling, Communicate the limit, and Target acceptable alternatives.

Acknowledge the feeling. Letting a child know that you know how they are feeling helps them to feel heard and understood. Acknowledging emotions also helps an upset child address their feelings and can help them calm down faster.

“I know that you are angry and want to hit me…”

Communicate the limit. It is alright for a child to have feelings, but it is not appropriate for them to behave destructively or inappropriately. After validating their emotions, let them know that what they are doing is not OK. Be sure to word the limit so that you are saying “no” to the behavior and not to the child themselves. For example, instead of saying, “You can’t throw that,” you can say…

“…but I am not for hitting.”

This puts the focus on the child’s action rather than their feeling or person. Behaviors are easier for a child to change than feelings are, which is why the third step is to offer choices of other ways to behave.

Target acceptable alternatives. Simply telling a child “no” can lead them to feeling frustrated. They are trying to deal with their emotions and need to learn how to handle them safely. Offer other ways they can express themselves that are acceptable to you. It is also important that the child feels they have the ability to make their own choice, which helps them learn responsibility and problem solving. Offer one choice for younger children and 2-3 choices for older children and teens.

“You can choose to hit the pillow.”

It is important that you do not offer a choice that you do not want the child to choose. For example, you wouldn’t suggest that they hit the dog instead of you.

The A-C-T method can also be used with teens. We often want to treat teens as adults, but their brains are not fully developed yet and they need clear communication of concrete limits like children do. Tweak the language slightly so that the teen does not feel talked down to, but can still understand what you are saying. For example, “I know you are upset about not being able to go out with your friends tonight, but school nights are for doing homework and chores. You can choose to see your friends on Friday night or invite them to come over on Saturday.”

If the child persists in the inappropriate behavior, stay firm and consistent with the limit. This type of limit setting can take some getting used to. Practice the three parts and soon it will become natural to respond to your child with the A-C-T method. For more about limit setting and choice giving, we recommend Dr. Landreth’s "Choices, Cookies, and Kids" DVD. ECC has the DVD available for parents and caregivers to watch during their child’s session. It can also be purchased on Dr. Landreth’s website.

Please contact us with any questions you have about the A-C-T method or leave a comment below.

  
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Dr. Hallie Sheade is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Founder of Equine Connection Counseling. She is  contracted to write a textbook on best practices in equine assisted counseling for Routledge, an academic publisher.

    Archives

    October 2019
    March 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    June 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All
    Angel Fund
    Children
    DFW
    Equine Assisted Counseling
    Horses
    Limit Setting
    Open House
    Operation Hoofbeat
    Parenting
    Play Therapy
    Presentations
    Professionals
    PTSD
    REPC
    Research
    Teens
    Trauma
    Veterans

    RSS Feed

    Join our mailing list!

Subscribe to Newsletter
verified by Psychology Today
Picture






© 2021 Equine Connection Counseling, PLLC. 
All rights reserved.

Contact Us
Phone: (682) 334-3784

Email: ​[email protected]
​
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 122692, Fort Worth, TX 76126
verified by Psychology Today